A Part of Me Will Always Stay Here!

 

A Part of Me Will Always Stay Here!

The chilly wind here carries a strange warmth, something deeply familiar. It wraps around me the way a mother gathers her child into her arms and whispers, “Shhh… everything is okay.” That’s how this breeze feels when it touches my face; comforting, reassuring, and somehow making it even harder to leave.

Rishikesh - The place I came to in search of peace, to escape my reality for a while.

The slow, breezy mornings… the clear, flowing river… the firm, unmoving mountains, they have healed parts of me I didn’t even realize were wounded. And yet, they did. Of all the places I’ve travelled to, I’ve never felt the urge to stay back, to settle, to belong. But this place is different. There’s something quietly magical about it. It has calmed the storm within me.

I came here with a purpose, a silent hope in my heart and somehow, that purpose was fulfilled. This place has felt like home to my fragile heart. A safe corner it had been craving for so long. A space where I could simply exist. Where I could rest my head, let my tears fall freely, and not feel judged for them.

There is so much affection in the air here. It has held me so gently that I’ve grown comfortable in it, maybe too comfortable. And now, the thought of leaving feels unbearable. Because this feeling… this sense of home… is rare. At least for me.

Somewhere along the way, I forgot what “home” felt like. Even places where my loved ones live stopped feeling safe. I kept longing to go home, without ever knowing where that home truly was. And then, in a place where I have no one; I felt held. I felt like a child again.

Do you remember how it felt leaving your childhood home for the first time? The walls that watched you grow, the corners that knew your secrets and yet, you had to leave because life demanded it. Because life insists that you grow up, be serious, and face it head-on.

That is exactly how leaving Rishikesh feels.

Heavy. Aching. Helpless.

Here, I was alone, but never lonely. And yet, that 2BHK sharing room back in the city, filled with people, often makes me feel abandoned. Strange, isn’t it? How solitude here felt warmer than company there.

Every time the thought strikes - “This is my last evening here” - it feels like something is slipping through my fingers. Like I’m leaving behind something meaningful. Something I may not have fully understood, but deeply felt.

It feels like I’m leaving my home.

And I know this much, I may physically leave Rishikesh, but I will never completely go away from it. A part of me will always stay here.

I will come back someday. Not just with tears to surrender to Ganges River, but with laughter too. I came here to let my pain flow with Maa Ganga… and she deserves to see her child happy as well.

So yes, I am leaving.

But some part of me will always belong here.